New product protects managers from climate change.

“The ‘SurvivaBall’ is designed to protect the corporate manager no
matter what Mother Nature throws his or her way,” said Fred Wolf, a (mock) Halliburton representative who spoke at the Catastrophic Loss conference held at the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Amelia Island, Florida. “This technology is the only rational response to abrupt climate change,” he said to an attentive and appreciative audience.

Wolf and a colleague demonstrated three SurvivaBall mockups, and described how the units will sustainably protect managers from natural or cultural disturbances of any intensity or duration. The devices – looking like huge inflatable orbs – will include sophisticated communications systems, nutrient gathering capacities, onboard medical facilities, and a daunting
defense infrastructure to ensure that the corporate mission will not go unfulfilled even when most human life is rendered impossible by catastrophes or the consequent epidemics and armed conflicts.

“It’s essentially a gated community for one,” said Wolf.

The conference attendees peppered the duo with questions. One asked how the device would fare against terrorism, another whether the array of embedded technologies might make the unit too cumbersome; a third brought up the issue of the unit’s cost feasibility. Wolf and Goody assured the audience that these problems and others were being addressed.

Maybe the corporate managers at RWE npower would like a few. 🙂

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2 Responses to New product protects managers from climate change.

  1. suburbanlife says:

    This has got to be a joke? It reminds me of that classic goofy film “The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”. A truly nutty invention to even contemplate – real stuff of fantasy! But it could have an up-side – limited contact with managers, and they could be so easily deflated, or even rolled like beachballs to bob about in polluted lakes, down rivers to make their way into the vast oceans. That is truly fun to contemplate!

  2. matt says:

    It’s a very serious invention. The Chinese are manufacturing them as we speak. Bit expensive flying in one though; can only fit in first class. 😉

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