Government to close down nightmare Heathrow

News flash – After an emergency meeting of prime minister Gordon Brown’s Cobra committee this morning where they discussed recent T5 chaos, the PM has announced the closure of Heathrow Airport at his weekly unpdate with journalists today.

He stated that BBA has lost the plot completely and tarnished the UK’s international reputation. Almost 30,000 bags have been separated from passengers with the Territorial Army called in to help volunteer staff sort out the mess.

Brown sees this as an opportunity to radically meet the UK’s carbon emission reduction targets soon to be enshrined into law.

Once Heathrow is closed (sometime later this year) passengers will be encouraged to take alternative transport such as the Eurostar to Europe or utilize other London airports if necessary. Brown announced tentative plans to turn Heathrow land over to much needed new housing.

Ken Livingston, mayor of London welcomed the plans, while Borris Johnson (Tory mayoral candidate) suggested using the current runways for space shuttle flights to boost tourism. The Liberal Democrats put forward the idea of an urban farm.

Residents around Richmond are breathing a sigh of relief  today as they begin to realise their tea parties will no longer be ruled by the roar of approaching jumbo jets every two minutes.

Well done Gordon. You can make a decision

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5 Responses to Government to close down nightmare Heathrow

  1. inel says:

    Well, I must say, the new housing looks stellar, and I’m sure the residents of Sipson would be pleased to hear they can stay put 😉

  2. earthpal says:

    Erm . . . would today’s date have anything to do with it? April the 1st?

    😀 😀 😀

  3. matt says:

    Sssshhh 🙂

  4. matt says:

    Isn’t that housing grand if not a little silly.

    The fight led by the residents of Sipson, I see it now.

    I once explored a little around a quite bizarre settlement of houses caught between the airport and the M25. It had an spooky atmosphere.

  5. keithsc says:

    So it’s official!

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